


Fools Twice Deceived

by ardett



Series: Twice Deceived [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Infinity War spoilers, Not A Fix-It, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), maybe a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-03 20:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14577114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardett/pseuds/ardett
Summary: INFINITY WAR SPOILERSIt happens like this: Thanos snaps his finger and the universe splits in two.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Again, major spoilers but honestly, it's been a week and if you haven't seen Infinity War yet, you clearly don't value your spoiler-free life.
> 
> So I had to just sit with the movie for a week because WHAT A FUCKING TRIP but I wanted in on the fun, so here I am

It happens like this: Thanos snaps his finger and the universe splits in two.

It happens like this: Wakanda is a battleground. Wakanda is a graveyard. It was supposed to be sown in blood, it would have been better if it had been sown in blood because there would have been bodies, bodies to bury and bodies to mourn. Wakanda is a graveyard without corpses. And it is sown in ash.

It happens like this: Titan was already decimated when they arrived. The skies are tinged red, moonless. There is blood dripping over stone and only a drop of it is the enemy’s. Time is inevitable. It has always been inevitable. Strange says nothing.

It happens like this: Bucky’s last word is Steve’s name.

It happens like this: Rocket has a lot to lose and he does. He watches as he loses it right before his eyes.

It happens like this: Rhodey can’t find Sam.

It happens like this: The Scarlet Witch gave up everything for nothing. She becomes nothing.

It happens like this: The king is dead. Long live the-

It happens like this: Rocket loses more than he knows.

It happens like this: “Steady, Quill.” But Star-lord cannot hold steady. He can hold onto nothing but his rage. Then he can’t even hold onto that.

It happens like this: Strange says, “Tony, there was no other way.” Strange says nothing.

It happens like this: Peter stumbles, Peter falls. Peter can’t remember their names, no one will remember his, no will know he was here and that he fought, he tried. He failed. He’s sorry and no one says they forgive him.

It happens like this: Tony has never known that taste of ash to be so bloody.

It happens like this: Thanos snaps his finger and the universe splits in two. There are those who left and those who are left behind.

 

~~ It happens like this ~~

 

It happens like this: Thanos snaps his finger and the universe splits in two.

It happens like this: Wakanda is a battleground. Wakanda is a graveyard. It was supposed to be sown in blood, it would have been better if it had been sown in blood because there would have been bodies, bodies to bury and bodies to mourn. Wakanda is a graveyard without corpses. And it is sown in ash.

It happens like this: Titan was already decimated when they arrived. The skies are tinged red, moonless. There is blood dripping over stone and only a drop of it is the enemy’s. Time is inevitable. It has always been inevitable. Strange says nothing.

It happens like this: Steve’s blinks and his eyelashes flutter away. Bucky picks up his shield when it falls.

It happens like this: Rocket never gets that gun or that arm or the chance to say goodbye.

It happens like this: Sam can’t find Rhodey.

It happens like this: The Scarlet Witch curls up besides the one monochrome corpse that can’t disappear. Half of all life does not include half of all that lived.

It happens like this: Wanda was not alone. Natasha is and this is how she fades.

It happens like this: “This is no place to die,” he says. Okoye nods, and she lies, and she drifts.

It happens like this: Nebula goes first.

It happens like this: Pepper tried to call him. He answered this time. He could have said the important things. Why didn’t he say what was important?

It happens like this: “Kid, tell Pepper-” “Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark, what’s happening?  _ Please, no, _ Tony-” “You know what I need you to tell her.” “I will, I promise I will,  _ please- _ ”

It happens like this: The  _ thank you _ turns to ash in Tony’s lungs. Peter says he’s sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five are left on Titan.

“This is your fault,” Peter rasps at Quill.

Rage rips him apart from the inside out. He has never known such a terrible anger before, so overpowering and indescribable. He knows when something in him burns and chars with it, something that will never be soothed, never be healed. He apologized  ~~ twice ~~ once but he shouldn’t have because the blame is right in front him, alive while Peter clutches ashes, steady while Peter sobs into dust. This is wrath, this is anger, this is rage, this is- this is-

It’s despair.

Peter screams. But it’s not a scream, it’s a cry, and he would rather be dead, he would rather be dead than on his knees surrounded by desolation and ash, and his apology is ringing in his ears like he’s said it once, twice, fourteen million six hundred and five times.

How could this be the only way? How could there be no other way?

Peter’s agony is rage and his rage is agony and it turns on Strange. “You’re a liar,” he gasps out, chokes out. “You’re a liar. You said this was the only way but Tony’s gone and we-  _ we lost.  _ How can you say that when we lost?”

“We don’t know that,” Quill whispers. Quill lies. “We don’t know if- if that was because he did it. It wasn’t half of us, so he can’t have all the stones, right? Or else- Or else it would have-”

Peter’s chest is caving inwards, and his blood bubbles in his veins, and still the tears drip down his cheeks. “Mr. Stark is  _ gone. _ ”

Quill stares at him. His eyes are brown and human and nothing like hope.

“It was Thanos,” Dr. Strange murmurs like they haven’t all been lying to each other since they met, playing at war like they were soldiers when they were really insects, like they don’t all know the sound of someone fading and the sound of a lie.

Peter curls into himself. “We have to go home,” he finally whimpers.

“We don’t know who’s left,” Quill says. “All we know is that Thanos is out there, alive,  and if he’s alive, we can kill him.”

“We have to go home,” Peter repeats. He doesn’t whimper this time. There’s no pain in his voice, nothing at all. His voice is a skeleton. “I have to tell Pepper.”

“Who the hell is Pepper?” Quill’s words are abrasive but they shake. They should. Peter wants him to know what he made them lose.

“They were gonna get married.”

“Stark… Stark was going to get married?” Quill pales and Peter thinks of Tony’s skin darkening, then disintegrating. Quill’s face crumples. He turns away. “ _ Fuck. _ ”

Dr. Strange doesn’t wait for the mourning. “Peter’s right. We need to get back to Earth,” he says. “You can take us there.” He starts for the Guardian’s ship.

Quill doesn’t move. But his hands tremble. “Stark.  _ Gamora. _ How many people did we lose today?”

“Star-lord, look at me.” Quill doesn’t look up. Strange’s fingers spark. 

Drax and Mantis start to move between them, and Peter is watching it all split in two again, but then Quill’s head snaps up and he snarls, “Don’t you fucking dare.” He goes for his gun and Peter tenses, ready to to choose a side.

The sparks disappear as soon as Quill meets Strange’s gaze. Peter knows Dr. Strange is human but something in the black of his pupils is ancient. “We lost half of all life. Look at me, Star-lord. Half of all life is gone.”

“So why’d you do it?” Quill bares his teeth. “Why did you give up that stupid stone for Stark’s life if you knew he was going to die? How is this only my fault?”

“He tried to save Mr. Stark’s life!” Peter rears to his feet. “Gamora wasn’t even here! You didn’t save her! She was  _ already dead! _ ”

Quill flinches. Mantis reaches for Peter, the glow of sleep already in her antennas, but Quill waves for Mantis away. He looks back at Strange. “So what, Stark’s life for a few more hours is the trade you made for half the universe?” The words come out like a scoff. Peter tries to remember what it was like to not feel this anger, this anger that roars in his ears, but he is not himself.

~~ “We don’t trade lives,” he utters. ~~

Strange’s assurity falters as he whips to towards Peter. “What did you just say?” he breathes.

Peter takes a hesitant step back as Strange’s intensity focuses on him. “I… I said... “ His voice drops out to a guilty whisper. “I said she was already dead.”

“No, after that,” Strange demands.

Peter’s brow furrows. “I didn’t say anything after that.”

“Right.” Strange’s gaze flits away. “Right. Of course you didn’t,” he mutters, almost to himself. The rest of them watch as he starts to walk to the Guardian’s ship again. Drax opens his mouth to say something but Peter doesn’t listen. (He never has.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I know there's not a lot of Drax or Mantis but look, I care a lot about Peter Parker, okay?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark does not have a heart.

Tony and Nebula step onto the Guardian’s abandoned ship. The craft shakes as they walk on board ~~, and then shakes thrice more. Like five people climbed on instead of only two~~. Tony looks behind them but the ship is empty, the planet is empty, the sky is empty. His arms are empty. There is no one.

He’s not sure why disappointment festers in his chest. He’s not even sure what made him turn around.

“We don’t have time to collect the ashes.”

The ashes on Tony’s hands are still warm. The ashes in his mouth taste bloody. The wound in his stomach aches. “I wasn’t going to.” He turns back around. “Let’s go.”

 

_Peter crumbles in his arms._

_Peter collapses into him and Tony almost recoils, so full of hurt and fear and pure energy. There had been tremors in his hands the moment his ears had filled with the crackling static of a dropped call and for a moment, they stilled when Tony poured everything into this final battle, the only battle to ever matter, the only battle, please, he had to win. But he didn’t and the tremors came back to haunt him, to punish him for his failure, so when Peter falls into his arms, his hands are shaking. He doesn’t want to hold him. He has to fight, they all have to fight. There’s no time, no time, no time but then…_

_Time is stolen from them. No, not quite stolen._

_Given up._

_And after that..._

 

Tony has always hated the feeling of fear. The crawl of stress up his throat, breaths cut in half, the way his hands fail him. The way his mind shudders. The most important parts of himself failing.

His body is failing him again as Nebula makes her way to the controls. But is this fear? It doesn’t feel like fear. It feels like his mind is a broken record that skips and sticks and skips and sticks.

A needle caught in record grooves, then skipping.

Fingers hugging onto ashy flesh, then slipping.

“When we had the time stone, Dr… One of us saw possible futures. He had a plan.” Nebula scoffs as she reaches for a lever, but Tony continues, “He knew how we could win. Whatever we do now… it has to be something he foresaw.  ~~We need to get back to Earth.~~ ” The words are ~~strange~~ hollow in Tony’s mouth.

“The last stones were on Earth,” Nebula says. “That’s the last place we know Thanos was. That’s where we’ll go first.”

“And if we don’t find him?” The craft begins to rumble and Tony speaks louder. He thinks about ash in engines and probabilities of system failures.

“He has no reason to hide,” Nebula growls. “He’s invincible.”

And in that, Tony thinks she’s wrong. Not about the invincible part. Not about the hiding part. But to stick around would be to gloat over his victory and no, Tony cannot see that. Thanos was mad, insane enough to think himself above gods, but Tony remembers every moment of their encounter with excruciating detail.

Thanos could have killed every single of them when he came for the time stone. He had Peter’s throat in his fist. He had Tony skewered by his own blade. And then he had the time stone ( _why did Strange give it up of all the stupidest decisions of all the people Tony thought he could trust to make the hard choices just when he thought he could rest the bastard had sworn he wouldn’t do it for a kid and he gave it up_ ). It was over then. It was over before the battle had even begun. Thanos hadn’t killed them all though. And that meant something.

It meant Thanos wouldn’t gloat. It meant Thanos knew they weren’t a threat. It meant Thanos was ( _Tony can’t say it he can’t he can’t he can’t the titan killed half of a breathing universe he can’t say it_ ) benevolent. And what being is benevolent to the mortals who live at its feet?

A god.

~~“He will never be a god,” Tony lies.~~

Nebula whirls  ~~and the way the light glares off the pane behind her gives the appearance of great golden horns upon her head~~ and opens her mouth. Stars zip past them. She blinks and closes it. What she had been about to say is lost.

Tony can’t help himself from asking, even as Nebula turns back around. “And what if we find him? What then?”

“The stones can fix everything.” She flicks a switch. Tony’s head throbs as the light blurs into pure white.

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t _know that?”_ Nebula makes an incredulous sound in the back of her throat. “They have the power to wipe out half of all life with the snap of his fingers. What more power could you want?”

“Just think this through for a second,” Tony snarls and he hates himself. “Genocide happens all the time. No one has ever managed to cross the big divide though. That’s a one way street. Everything dies. Nothing comes back. What if there’s no other side to bring them back from, huh? What if there’s absolutely nothing after death and there has never been anything to drag back into the light?”

“The-”

“Time stone? We’re not going to find him, you know that, right? The longer it takes, the farther back we have to go to reverse it, and we’ll never find him in time. Time has been messed with enough. Time didn’t help Strange, did it? There’s no do-over, no rewind button, no-”

_(Please, I don’t want to go.)_

Tony’s mouth snaps shut. He grits his teeth and screws his eyes shut and he knows… Not even for Peter. They can’t undo this, not this time. Some part of him is certain of it, the part of him that Thanos knew the name of, the part of him the universe has chosen to leave a living husk. Time is fraying. The universe is ~~split~~ cracked. The dead must stay dead, the dead must stay dead, thedeadmuststaydead.

This is the greater good everyone always fears. Many above self, universe above love.

“If we find him, we get those stones. We destroy them. No one can ever use them again. No one.”

Earth breaks into their field of vision.

“No one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very conflicted because of course I want everyone to come back but I also want the stakes to be real, which means I want them to stay dead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The endgame is not what Strange promised.

Peter watches technicolor stream past the spaceship’s portholes. The first time he had travelled through space, his bones had been buzzing, his blood warm and eager. He had been both terrified and thrilled at once. Now he only feels exhaustion, like the buzz has degraded into aches, his blood like coal.

Still, as redorangeyellowgreenbluepurple rushes past, there’s a budding sense of wonder. When he puts his hand up to the pane, the glass vibrates gently under his fingertips. For something so neon and vibrant, there’s something natural in its beauty.

Then comes the guilt crashing down on Peter’s fragile frame. He snatches his hand back, eyes darting away. The flicker of happiness goes out and Peter is ashamed he ever had it, ashamed he ever dared to lilt a smile at the blaze of color when Tony is gone. When so many people he loves could be gone.

“What are you looking at?” a soft voice asks. Mantis squints past Peter, head tilted.

“Nothing,” Peter mutters. Her deep, dark eyes turn to him.

“You are lying. Why?”

Peter shakes his head and turns away. A hand is on his shoulder to stop him, brushing against the exposed skin at the nape of his neck.

“I do not understand. Why do you feel guilty about seeing the stars?”

Peter flinches wildly away. His mask snaps up and the legs of the suit brace in front of him. “Karen,” Peter pants. “What are her superpowers? Can she read minds? Has she been reading my mind this whole time?”

“The Guardian known as Mantis is of the alien species…”

“Woah, woah, let’s all calm down!” Quill steps between them, leaving his post at the captain’s seat empty.

Peter keeps listening to Karen list, “...powers include the reading and manipulation of emotions at physical contact, the ability to induce sleep…”

“Let’s retract those spider legs, buddy. I don’t want any holes poked in my ship, you hear me? Hey!” Quill snaps in front of Peter’s face, still firmly between him and Mantis.

“Thanks, Karen,” Peter breathes. His mask slides back into his suit. The protective cage of legs lowers and returns to his back. “Sorry. I just… Please… Please don’t do that.”

Quill gives him a steely nod. “We’re all a little on edge, but we’re all friends here, remember?”

Peter looks back to the window. “I remember.”

“Okay then, let’s-”

Everything jerks sideways. Peter yelps and the spider legs pop out again, bracing against the sides of the ship. He grabs Mantis before she collides with the wall. Quill scrambles towards the front, yelling, “What the hell, Strange? Do you know how to drive a spaceship?”

Dr. Strange doesn’t so much as glance at Quill, hands still on the captain’s controls as he sends them swerving. “We have to turn here,” he intones.

“Turn where?” Quill tries to wrest the controls from Strange but the sorcerer's cloak bats him away. “This is not Earth!”

“I know.”

“Then why are we turning? You’re the one who wanted to go back to Earth in the first place!”

“I changed my mind.” Dr. Strange suddenly stands and Quill falls into his seat. “Land us.”

Quill mutters under his breath, “Land us? Where should I land us, oh master? Where in the middle of fucking nowhere-” but he begins to set them down.

As soon as the door creaks open, Strange is outside and walking towards a wooden structure on the hilltop.

“Strange.” Quill’s voice makes a shudder run down Peter’s spine. All the sarcasm in it moments ago has been stripped away. “Why did you take us here?”

“You know this place?” Dr. Strange turns.

Quill’s words are flat. “This is Gamora’s home planet.”

Strange doesn’t flinch. The expression on his face is ~~stark~~ barren, not a flicker of emotion. “ ~~Steady, Quill.~~ An odd choice,” he says and resumes his strides towards the hut.

“An odd choice?” Quill trots after Strange. “Again, this was your choice.”

“I wasn’t talking about my choice.”

“So much cryptic magic shit, is it possible for you not to talk-”

Pins and needles tingle on the back of Peter’s neck. He gasps. The gun which Quill had casually been resting his hand on is suddenly in his palm, trigger halfway pulled.

“He’s here… He _… He’s here.”_

Peter wasn’t afraid the first time but he didn’t know, he didn’t understand, and now the terror is swallowing him alive, chewing through his heart, making brittle his bones. They’ll lose again, again, _again._ Peter felt him coming when he had four stones, the skin-crawling power that saturated the air. This feels worse, much, much worse.

Peter felt this wash of power ~~come for him~~ pass over him right before Tony Stark turned to dust.

The words stall in his throat, the plea to retreat. His hands ball into fists. Because they have to fight. They will always have to fight, no matter what happenedhappenswillhappen.

The barrel of Quill’s gun is glowing faintly. It’s aimed at the wooden hut.

Dr. Strange doesn’t falter, doesn’t pause. “Strange-” Quill warns right before Dr. Strange steps into the hut and out of view.

They all rush to follow him but…

The hut is empty. One wall is missing, a vista’s expanse before them. It is a place to watch the sun rise and set on a ~~grateful~~ quiet universe. The floor is dirt.

And covered in ash.

Strange picks up the only object in the lookout.

Gold plated armor. Jointed fingers. Stones polished to gems.

Power. Space. Reality. Soul. Time. Mind.

The Infinity Gauntlet.

 

The universe quakes as Thanos flexes his fingers.

 

“How… _How…”_ Quill gasps out. “Tell me that’s not really… that's not…”

Strange turns it over in his hand. Power echos through the air like waves lapping at a child’s knees.

Quill’s stare takes on a odd quality, almost like the night sky. Dotted with the light of stars but mostly dark. (Mostly dark.) He reaches for the gauntlet.

“We can use it to go back. We can change everything, save everyone, save Ga-”

Strange steps away. Quill’s hand falls. “Go back? Star-lord, we’ve already won.” Strange looks up. The stones illuminate his face ~~, the glow of the power stone giving his skin a purple tint~~.

“What?” Peter whimpers. He glances at the Guardians and his confusion is like a living thing in his chest. He thinks he’s shaking. “But we didn’t… Iron Man is dead. A lot of people… they also… Right? We didn’t…”

“We could never stop him. Surely you had to know that. This is how we win.”

Why can’t Peter breathe? “I don’t understand. You said you saw… You said…”

Strange spreads his arms, gesturing around them. “Thanos is dead. The infinity stones are safe.”

“No...” Peter pleads into the silence, though he’s not sure to who. _“No…”_

“He wanted it to be random, truly equal. That was the balance he demanded. The infinity stones fulfilled his wish. He was as much subject to it as any one of us.”

“But… You saw…”

“I saw that the only way I could protect the time stone was to give it up. Believe me, Peter-” Peter flinches at his name but Strange’s eyes are wide and guileless. Righteous. “I held onto the time stone in as many timelines as I could. I let Stark die. I let you die. I protected the stone with my life. But Thanos had four stones by the time we fought him. He was already unstoppable. He would have made his way across the galaxy as he has been for centuries, planet by planet. He would have exterminated half of Earth’s population and on my word, it was a much bloodier culling. He would have been a scourge on the universe for another millenia. Now he is victim to his own genocide. The stones shall be returned to their safeholds. It is over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I watched the movie, I thought Thanos ended up on Gamora's home planet because he talked about how he made the place into a paradise and he finally succeeded in creating that same paradise in the rest of the universe, blah blah, but when I looked it up, that's not really the general consensus but whatever, here it is.
> 
> I considered ending this here but I think I'm going to keep chipping away at it


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony plans for the war they've already lost.

Tony and Nebula enter Earth’s atmosphere right above Wakanda. Alerts light up the ship’s display and Nebula banks left, relaying, “There’s some kind of force field.”

The comms buzz to life. _“Report your mission or you will be taken down. On Wakanda’s name, we will be taking no prisoners today.”_ _  
_ Tony leans closer. “This is Tony Stark. Nebula and I are all that’s left from the battle on Titan. Requesting entry.”

_“Granted,”_ the receiver says shortly. Part of the force field slides away and Nebula takes them down.

 

A troop of warriors escorts them to Wakanda’s main hall. The first thing Tony sees is Princess Shuri sitting on the throne. He swallows and reassesses the soldiers left standing in his army, reassesses how many he really needs to try and take on Thanos again. His repertoire grows smaller with every face he doesn’t see.

“Tony.”

Tony’s gaze flicks to the side. “Bruce.” He should feel relieved and there’s a tiny thread of that woven in, yes, but mostly he looks into the face of his friend and files Hulk into his fleet. That would increase current fighting power by 25 percent.

“Tony,” Bruce repeats and this time, Tony listens and hears the desperation, the sorrow in the man’s voice. “Who didn’t make it?”

“The kid.” Tony keeps his words level. His eyes dart around the room, taking in the survivors. Steve is crouched over a shield. Natasha is at his side. “Strange. All of the Guardians.”

_“No,”_ someone, something, moans. A raccoon looks up at Tony, his patchy fur wet with tears and blood. Tony grits his teeth and steadfastly turns away.

“Almost all the Guardians,” he amends and fills in a small box that reads _fighters who can fly spaceships._ He walks a few more paces into the room. “Who else is left?”

“It… So many people didn’t make it, Tony. We don’t even fully know yet because there’s no way to be sure but it looks like we lost Wanda, Sam, um, Bucky, T’Challa also didn’t… and Vision, he was… before Thanos could…”

Tony waves a dismissive hand. “Obviously. Who else?”

Bruce flinches, hands clenching at his sides. “Tony, stop.”

“Stop what?”

“You know exactly what you’re doing.”

A muscle in Tony’s jaw ticks. _Compromised,_ he scrawls in green over the Hulk’s file.

“Tony, thank god!” Rhodey walks in, limps in, and Tony registers that. When they go to Thanos, he will use that as the excuse to leave Rhodey behind to protect him. Then he notes internal bias, reasons that they will need every person who can fight, and reevaluates.

Tony hugs him tighter than he should. Breathes Rhodey’s name in a moment of weakness and then digs his nails into the swell of emotion and drags it back down.

“Pepper’s okay,” Rhodey smiles. It’s more relief than joy. “I was just talking to her. You should… They’ll give you a jet to get back to New York. She’s not in a good way.”

“She should come here.” Tony pulls away.

Sympathy breaks across Rhodey’s face. “At this point, Tony, it doesn’t matter how many defenses Wakanda has. It was just as affected as New York. She’s just as safe there as here and at least she’s home, right?” Then Rhodey frowns. “Or is that not…”

“I need to stay here,” Tony agrees.

Bruce shoots Rhodey a pleading look. “Rhodey, you’ve got to talk him out of this. You know we’re not ready for another fight, not now and maybe not ever.”

“Another fight? Tony, are you… Oh god, you are. I can see it in the way you’re looking at me. Tony. _Tony._ ~~We have to go home,~~ ” ~~and his voice sounds familiar and young and like the whimper of a sixteen year-old boy.~~ “Just go home.”

“No,” Tony growls. “You don’t know how close we were on Titan. We had that fucking gauntlet off before Quill fucked us all. There’s enough of us still kicking to take him and someone’s gotta do it, Rhodes, because if we don’t, we wait another hundred, thousand, hundred thousand years and then he’ll decide we’re growing too big and he’ll snap again. You think I got onto that stupid alien donut so I could come back home? You think I planned to come home?”

“Don’t ask me that,” Rhodey begs.

“He was supposed to protect that godforsaken stone and Strange-”

 

picks up the gauntlet.

 

Everything wobbles. Dust crystallizes in the air. Light prisms through the window.

They all freeze, muscles tensing, eyes wild. There’s the sound of terrified pants, a whimper, an exhausted snarl. Shuri’s hands clench at the arms of her throne.

Tony feels the power shudder through him like validation.

“Just get Pepper here,” Tony finishes and stalks away.

 

Tony’s been making enemies. There’s no mistaking it. He’s spent the last two days going around to every person who fought that day and getting their account of the battle from the time Steve Rogers set foot in Wakanda to the time Thanos snapped his fingers. Tony has lived the final battle through one hundred sets of eyes, fought this war one hundred times, and yet no seems to appreciate what he’s doing.

They glare as Tony pulls another soldier aside. They bare their teeth when Tony writes down the strengths and weaknesses of each tribe, when he counts their numbers. Someone went through the papers in his lab the other day, left them torn on the ground.

Tony had been furious for a overwhelming moment. Even an hour spent retrieving data was an hour of setback, an hour wasted. He would have to redo all these soldiers’ expendability ratings.

When he went through the video footage later with a clearer head and saw Steve rooting through the papers on his desk, he wasn’t surprised. He doesn’t even confront the other man about it in the end. It’s not worth it.

Shuri is the only one who willingly offers him support. She’s the one who gives him the lab. She’s the one who makes sure everyone is answering his questions. She’s undoubtedly one of the smartest ones there and likely the next Black Panther. Expendability rating of 10, must be left alive at all costs.

He doesn’t tell her his plans to destroy the stones.

 

Pepper arrives on the third day.

She looks ragged and worn down. Her hair is tangled, nails chipped into points. Her sneakers are dirty, laces caked in dust.

He remembers distantly ~~that he was going to get married~~ the dream he had of a child, soft and loving in their arms.

( _I don’t want to go._ )

He clutches Pepper to him, whispers her name as he presses his lips to her forehead. He thinks of the soul stone and the price it demanded from Thanos, of Quill’s rage and grief.

He can’t bring himself to draw up a soldier report for Pepper. He tells himself there’s no need to. There’s no reason for Pepper to be anywhere near the next fight. (Unless there is. Unless he has to…)

 

(and he would.)

 

Pepper finds him in the lab, pouring over his gathered reports. She takes the datapad from his hand and tugs his earbuds out. He braces but not soon enough.

“You need to make time to see May Parker.”

He immediately shuts down. “No, I don’t.” He turns back to the table and away from Pepper. “She’s probably dead anyway.”

“Tony.” Pepper grabs his shoulder and spins him back around. “She keeps calling me and asking where you and Peter are. I… I couldn’t believe you were on that ship and then FRIDAY had to tell me you both were.”

“I tried to send the kid back-”

“Tony, no, I don’t want to hear it, alright? Look, I… I’m sure you tried to protect him. I know you would have. But I had to call his aunt while I was still trying to figure out how you could have _left me again_ and explain to her that you took her sixteen year-old kid with you. And you have the audacity to come back without him and not tell her what happened?” Pepper’s hand tightens on his. “Tony, it’s over. The universe doesn’t have to come first over Peter, not right now.”

Tony’s gaze fixes on the far wall. (Destroy the stones, he said he’d destroy the stones and didn’t he swear ~~(“I will, I promise I will, _please-”_ ) ~~ that he would let the dead rest and destroy the stones?)

“What am I even going to say to her, Pep?”

He tries to concentrate on running the numbers again but they spill through his fingers. All that’s left behind is the crushing empty feeling that draws cries from his chest and tears from his eyes. He let a kid die thinking he didn’t do enough. He let a kid die apologizing.

~~(“Kid, tell Pepper-”)~~

Tony stiffens a moment before Pepper answers him, ~~“You know what I need you to tell her,” and Tony’s own throat runs ash dry.~~ “We all deserve the truth, Tony.”

“Pepper,” Tony chokes past the ringing in his ears, ~~a ringing that sounds like his own voice but muted and backwards and distorted~~. “I love you. I love you so much. I never wanted to leave you, but I… It doesn’t matter. I just want you- you to know that I love you.”

He squeezes her hand and desperately waits for her to squeeze back. A few tears slip out when she does with a small, sad smile.

“I know. I love you too.” She kisses his cheek. “Call May.”

 

The next day, Tony flies back to New York.

 

He knocks on the Parker’s door and it’s flung open.

_“Peter?”_ May gasps. But it’s only Tony. May looks around him, as if Peter is just hiding behind Tony’s shoulders, but Tony sees the exact moment it hits her. “No… no no _no-”_

“May-” He reaches out a hand and she stumbles backwards.

“No, don’t tell me he’s… no, he…” Anguish ruins her voice.

“He…” Tony’s breaths feel thick, suffocating. “He was so brave. He made the world a better place. He was one of the best people I knew.” May collapses into a chair and Tony talks faster and faster as if to convince her, convince himself, “He was important. I wouldn’t have saved Strange without him and even though Thanos- even though- even though we-”

“Stop,” May sobs, face buried in her hands. Then she looks up, eyes watery but hard. “Tell me how it happened.”

“No.”

“ _No?_ ” May stands. “I wasn’t there when _my baby_ died so you will tell me how it happened. No matter how painful it is, he died out there before me, without me, so goddammit I will hear how it happened.”

“No, May, listen to me. You don’t want to know. You don’t want that to be the last thing you remember about him.”

And she must see the haunted look in his face, but she doesn’t care.

“You were there, Stark. You were there when my kid died so you will _tell me_ if he suffered, if he cried. You will tell me what his last words were.” May takes a deep, quivering breath, and then softly, “And I will help you carry this.”

“He…” Tony snatches a box of tissues off the table, mindlessly starting to shred one. “ _He…_ He begged me to help him.” Tony almost gags and backtracks. “He was the only one who felt it coming with his- his precognition so he knew and he- he- he kept saying he didn’t want to go. Begged me to- There was nothing I could do and then he- he apologized, said I’m sorry and then he was gone.”

He has to put the tissue box back down to hide his trembling hands behind his back.

“I… I held him when he went. I should have said something. I know I should have said something but it was so fast-” He swallows back his excuses and they sear in his chest. “It shouldn’t have been me there. It should have been you but it was me and he didn’t deserve-”

“No, he loved you. You don’t know how much he loved you. But he did. He idolized you. He thought-” May laughs but it’s not bitter. She sits down heavily. “You were like father to him. He would have done anything for you. Well, he would have for anyone, that’s just the way he is, but you especially. I’m glad he had you there at the end.”

The smile completely falls from May’s face. Her lip trembles. She breaks down into tears, keening wails rising from her. Tony pushes the box of tissues towards her. May takes them.

It is the first step towards forgiveness. Not May’s, but the forgiveness Tony must give himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Nebula fell off the face of the Earth, I'll fit her in later somehow...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gauntlet changes hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the radio silence, guys! It's that busy time of year, you know? I'm been traveling and graduating (!!), so I've been writing my speech and also decorating my graduation cap, which is [INFINITY WAR THEMED](http://ardett.tumblr.com/post/174801750915/but-this-does-put-a-smile-on-my-face-cant-wait)! (Inspired from something else but I'm not sure where the original went) But anyway, it's fun times, so while I'm trying my best to get some updates out regularly, no promises ;)

Peter meets Peter’s eyes. Quill darts for the gauntlet.

Strange steps back, a shield sparking to life to deflect the blast from Quill’s gun. Quill keeps coming and they tussle for a moment. Strange’s cloak swirls around him, wrapping around Quill’s leg and making him stumble. Mantis and Drax rush to help Quill and Strange flings his hand behind his back to guard the gauntlet as the full force of the Guardians rains upon him.

Peter webs the gauntlet right out of Strange’s hands.

“No!” Strange yells and his hands come up, fingers twisted with magic, before Quill knocks him down again. Mantis reaches for Strange and he sends her flying through one of the hut’s walls.

“Bastard!” Quill growls as he and Drax struggle to hold the sorcerer.

Quill and Drax’s hands start to smoke where they touch Strange. Quill gasps through the pain but eventually skitters back with a screech, embers burning in the lines of his palm. White hot ropes pull Drax away with a pained grunt.

Strange’s gaze swings to Peter.

“Do it, Peter! Do it!” Quill screams.

Strange takes a step forward, hands outstretched to the gauntlet. “Give it to me, Peter. You don’t know what you’re doing. Listen to me, this was the only way.”

Peter backs away, shaking his head and almost tripping over himself in his haste. He looks at Quill, cradling his charred hands to his chest. There are tears running down his face.

“Do it, Peter,” he pleads.

Peter turns the gauntlet in his hand. The stones whisper to him.

“No, Peter, you can’t control it! It will destroy you! It will rip your body apart!” Strange’s voice is frantic but Peter sees the sorcerer’s hands start to blaze and his spidey sense flares.

He plunges his hand into the gauntlet.

 

He died.

He remembers dying, feeling it coming, the glide of the reaper’s blade along his neck, and then drifting away.

He lived.

He watched one of Earth’s mightiest turn into dust.

His mind is crumbling at the seams.

Through his left eye, Tony and Nebula walking away.

Through his right, him, the Guardians, Strange standing on Titan.

They follow in each other’s footsteps, swallow each other’s words, think each other’s thoughts and see through each other’s eyes.

Their universes are tied together by a fraying string and the string is blue as space, red as reality, purple as power, green as time, yellow as the mind, and orange as the soul.

Peter thinks of Tony and bringing him back, please, let him save him,  _ please. _

Everything in him snaps-

 

-to the left.

It’s like his heart, his lungs, all the blood in his veins, is under a different kind of gravity. He topples to his left, knees crashing into the ground. His hand feels unnaturally heavy with the weight of metal and jewel and power, but when he looks down at it,  ~~ he sees the gauntlet sitting there ~~ he sees nothing.

Then a voice, so deep and sonorous it makes his sternum ache, calls, “Little insect…” And the back of Peter's neck is throbbing, burning _.  _ “You should not be here.”

Peter's gaze trails up and up and up towards the terrible face of the titan, the being that destroyed half of everyone Peter ever loved.

Peter can't speak past the raw terror coursing through him, can't even meet Thanos’s eyes. Instead his gaze is stuck on the hollow of Thanos’s throat.

A keen rises out of Peter as fingers trace the underside of his jaw and lift his head. Thanos regards him, something strangely gentle and considering in his stare.

“You are but a child. So young. So fragile.” Thanos tilts his head. “I do not know how you arrived here, child, but I cannot allow an insect to become an infestation.”

Peter's senses shriek a moment before he's thrown to the ground.

Ribs crack. His temple splits on a rock. Blood drips into the socket of his eye. Peter gives a wet gasp.

Before Peter can even lift himself onto his knees, he's grabbed by the scruff of his neck. Peter struggles wildly, trying to pry Thanos off him. Thanos grabs one of his flailing wrists and snaps it. Peter screams, high and ragged.

Peter kicks as hard as he can and Thanos’s hold loosens a fraction. It's just enough for Peter to push away and he skids into a heap at Thanos's feet.

Thanos reaches for him. Peter's hand twitches and he-

 

-is back in the between place.

Peter curls up in a ball, chest hardly able to expand beyond the pain. He can't stop the tears streaming down his face.

He would stay here forever, locked in limbo, but the pressure of the gauntlet is beginning to ache on his joints and metal is becoming so hot that it feels cold.

Peter braces himself as everything in him snaps-

 

-to the right.

The air is dry in his lungs as he heaves it in. He trembles on the ground, feeling his blood soak into the grass. His eyes flutter as someone yells his name but he can hardly keep them open. Something close to a whine, or maybe a whimper, catches in his throat.

Peter watches as a scarred hand plucks the infinity gauntlet up from where it landed.

“I trust you won't be trying that again, Peter,” Strange says.

Peter's gaze drifts to the Guardians, to Quill’s horrified expression as he takes in Peter's broken body. Peter shakes his head.

Strange crouches down next to Peter. “The universe has chosen its fate,” he murmurs. “Now we must accept it.”

Strange offers up a hand. Peter accepts it, swaying as he’s lifted to his feet. Pain lances through him. He has to lean against Strange’s side just to stay upright.

He lets Strange lead him back to the ship, the sorcerer nearly carrying him while the Guardians trail wordlessly behind. None of them mention the tears Peter hides in the collar of Strange’s cloak. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will the next update be longer? We can hope


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises are kept on both sides.

Months pass. Tony plans and plans and plans. With Nebula working alongside him, Tony records every weakness and strength Thanos has, every hesitance and hubris. They all train and mourn, and mourn and train.

He will always blame himself. Ever since the attack on New York, he had known there was more out there. He had known the threats would come for them. The Avengers had invited enemies to Earth’s doorstep. That was unavoidable.

Tony should have prepared. He had known and yet he didn’t stop it. He had waited too long, loved too much, let distraction lead him astray. And so he had failed. And so he was to blame.

He would do anything to undo that mistake, but it cannot be undone. (This is a secret he cannot tell.) Instead, he must do anything he can to insure it never happens again.

 

Time passes more slowly when it runs to the right.

 

Tony is on the first spaceship that leaves Earth. They aren’t split between two battlefields this time, the Avengers. They are simply halved. 

After two years, the Avengers prepare for war together one final time.

Tony watches with a strange detachment as Steve’s fingers run over the edge of his shield, now stripped of its American paint but still polished after all these years. He watches as Natasha fixes her gauntlets, as Bruce fiddles with the screws of his glasses. Rhodey’s suit stands besides him like a sentinel, like it can protect him better than Tony can. Scott didn’t make it through the snap. Clint was taking care of Scott’s kid and what was left of his own before Tony dragged him back to the battle. They haven’t spoken since.

 

The more time passes, the more time falls out of sync.

 

Thor said that between two moments, when Thanos snapped his fingers and when he had disappeared, he had glimpsed the gauntlet and it had appeared burnt, damaged. That’s their best shot. That’s their best hope.

It is their only hope.

 

Months are perhaps only minutes.

 

They lost Wanda. The only other thing that could destroy the stones is the power of the stones themselves. 

They all know the plan. Take down Thanos, get to the gauntlet. Tony knows the plan as well.

The hard part will be getting to gauntlet before anyone else.

 

And minutes are perhaps only seconds.

 

They are here. Gamora’s home planet.

It’s a rather cruel thing, Tony thinks. To have this be the place Thanos’s has chosen for his triumphant return. When they drift closer to the energy signature of the infinity stones, however, Tony knows he’s mistaken.

There’s no city beneath them full of groveling zealots. There are no monuments dedicated to Thanos’s glory. There’s only plains of unpopulated green and there is that sick kernel of understanding in Tony’s mind, that part of him that understands that this idyllic landscape is possible because there’s no struggle for space here. Not anymore.

“Tony…” Bruce’s voice is strangled.  _ “Tony… _ You said…”

Tony looks out the far window just in time to see Peter Parker get thrown to the ground.

He can’t process what he sees, even as he watches blood splatter and bones break.

It’s impossible. Impossible. It’s impossible.

“-have to get down there. Tony, snap out of it!” Steve shakes him and then wrenches back his hand as Tony’s nanotech flows out.

Tony doesn’t wait for the ship’s hatch to open. He blasts a hole through the cargo door and flies down, every rocket at full power, ignoring FRIDAY’s power warnings.

Peter’s mask is down. Tony watches as his bloody and bruised face twists up in agony as Thanos snaps his wrist. He hears him shriek.

He’s not close enough.

Peter ends up crumples at Thanos’s feet. Tony’s close enough to see the way he shudders, the way his body is wracked with terrified sobs.

He’s not going to make it in time. Thanos reaches down. Tony kicks engine power up another ten percent but it won’t be enough. He’s not going to make it in time.

Peter blinks out of existence.

There’s no ash, no pleading, no puff of smoke. Just one second there and the next, gone.

Tony doesn’t have time to think about it because he’s going too fast and he slams into Thanos.

 

The rest of the battle is a blur. The only reason they have a chance is because Thanos is off balance from the apparition of Spider-man. It’s just enough, only just enough, to give them the edge they didn’t have before.

Tony is still shocked when Thor’s axe takes off Thanos’s hand. The titan roars but they all hold him down, Avengers and Guardian and all of the universe’s other protectors. All except for Tony, who stares at the gauntlet that has rolled to his feet.

He picks it up mechanically and all eyes turn to him. There’s a high-pitched ringing in his ears. He hesitates too long.

“Tony?” Rhodey asks. He sounds scared.

Tony breathes, “What if this was the only way?” 

The gauntlet slips onto his hand.

He closes his eyes.

Six stones shatter.

 

Peter visits the infinity stones sometimes. Just to make sure they’re safe. Just to make sure they’re still in their sanctuaries. Just to make sure this wasn’t all in vain.

Strange will portal him to the various safe holds, even show him the time stone when he asks. Peter knows he pities him every time, the way Peter can’t move on.

Sometimes Peter thinks about stealing them, trying just one more time to reverse it all, but the gauntlet was destroyed long ago. Peter has come to terms with the fact that it’s better this way, so that kind of power is out of everyone’s reach, including his own.

Peter wonders if it would even work anyway, even with all six stones, even with another gauntlet, when not all the stones are intact.

Peter has seen where the time stone rests in Strange’s necklace, where it is chipped. Strange has told Peter that he thought the chipped stone would disrupt the flow of time but no one in the sanctuary has detected anything amiss.

Besides, Strange has been more concerned about the reality stone, protected once again by the Collector.

It is split right down the middle.

Peter has stared at its two perfect halves for hours at a time, thinking of the time when he had all six stones to himself.

Sometimes he wonders if it’s less about reversing it all and more about bringing two halves together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, a surprise ending out of nowhere :O I just kind of wanted to wrap this up, concentrate on some other stuff, but it's very possible I'll come back to this, so if you're at all interested in that, feel free to subscribe to the series! I feel like I might return to write a good end and a bad end (although this basically is the bad end, I guess) but I hope you enjoyed this little foray into Infinity War speculation. Thank you for all your support!!


End file.
